A long-ago animated television show called "Crusader Rabbit" included a character named Arson and Sterno, the Two-Headed Dragon. Take a leap and guess how well the two separate heads got along. Since what I know about neurology is the equal of what I know about structural engineering, I suspect that my synapses make connections that differ from the way any other 14 out of 40,000 people would. So Arson and Sterno reside in memory, to be called forth when I acknowledge ambivalence, contrast and ambiguity in my own nature; they give faces and personalities to my seemingly disparate parts.
Where I don't assume I vary so much from my fellows is in living this yin/yang, hubris/nemesis existence. I would prefer to spend more time frolicking with aspects in greater harmony. An example is the desire for order, the ability to know where my hand needs to reach to find whatever I need, and the reality of piles, stuff, disarray. And one of the less attractive handmaidens of this conflict is judgment, harsh, undeserved and not an opinion I would feel so strongly about similar traits in another. This has set me on a path of learning to come from a more loving place in all situations, to extend compassion and acceptance to the greater world and to myself. This brings as its sidekick generosity, particularly generosity of spirit; an open heart out of which flows love.
There may be a line between loving, self-acceptance and giving ourselves too great a pass. There may not. Among newer lessons is the radical belief that any looming task may be confronted in small portions, a meal consumed one bite at a time. And there is also the choice to postpone or cancel. Not every seeming imperative is the actual creature.
With the awareness of compassion and generosity comes a greater wish to share, to stop measuring or counting or figuring. Just give it. You will be the richer for having done so. None of your better angels will be standing behind you, frowning. One of the ickiest results of being stingy or cautious is the knowledge, which will come, trust me, that you have missed the turn leading to peace of mind. Letting our hearts and hands open, with no assurance of any return, and without the intention for or desire of any, is freeing. We are catapulted from the ground we normally stand, wanting to be sure there will be enough, whatever that means, to enter the flow of Divine abundance, where enough will never be a question. We trust the urging to let something of ours become something of theirs. Quantity is not an issue for no matter what our circumstances, we do have something to give, if not materially then in kindness or attention or the results of our talents.
In my mind there is a manifesto-in-progress, where thoughts such as, " You will never go wrong taking the high road ," line up to remind me what I believe, should I forget for a moment and allow my heart to start shrinking. Another which I will add is this: It is not only good manners to keep the smaller portion for yourself, it is simply right. And without making a show of it. Let us be part of the great prosperity that surrounds us, in joy, imagination, energy, love and benevolent thoughts. The world needs what we have to offer; let us bring it forth.