Friday, May 6, 2011

...as we watch the comfort zone growing smaller in the rear-view mirror

Guided by intuition, on Wednesday I landed on a podcast phone call talking, by turn, to women whose titles were, respectively, Intuitive Life Coach and Medical Intuitive. I have never done this before, never listened to these programs or speakers before. And, in a life that, at one time, included visits to many psychics, I have never been so clearly seen, been unmasked, with great kindness and compassion, so that hiding from myself no longer seems an option. My belief is that spiritual and emotional affliction manifest in the body; my difficulty with mobility I see as an example of that, but one for which I had no answer.

With the intention of trusting my inner wisdom, not drowning my enthusiasms - which are more accurately passions - before they can draw breath, I've made a first attempt to translate the interior process into text. It is here because thumb-tacking it to the phone pole seemed indicated.

HEAD AND FOOT

Connect, the intuitive said, your head and feet. No problem there, other than all the ME that dwells between them. I blame the head, the mind which throws its weight around - thinks it's so smart. There is always information, some might say facts. It never shows up intending a fair fight, the mind. It is the impossible squabble that says, "you ALWAYS" or "you NEVER" and all your reserves go into defending, dispirited. There isn't enough fortitude, starch, to see the debate through to resolution...in your favor. That mind was present at the scene of every crime. It knows and relishes moments of failure, of fragile and unwise choices. The encyclopedic memory replays with sadistic glee scenes of shame and humiliation, betrayal of self or others, weak and crazy longing or terror or futile surrender. It is a shrewd organ, misinterpreting its assignment which is to know, to be the reliable source, repository of what matters, of what grows us, rather than the source of poison that reduces us to trembling, wobbling specters of our magnificent selves.

In China's cultural revolution, citizens too steeped in the old ways were sent for re-education. I have volunteered my mind, tattler that I am, for such a program, deep in a rural province. While it may not have been entirely effective in China, hard as it is to impose in any lasting fashion a bureaucratically-generated national amnesia, I am willing to try. Some amnesia allows healing. It is the seed that grows forgiveness. It is the pardon, the reprieve, the mercy so deserved, so essential for any forward movement. The quality of mercy falling, down, down, past organs and systems, trickling, filtering, washing away all that blocks the mind's wisdom of love and grace from reaching the feet, to watch them uncurl, move and flex, wiggle and leap and dance.

18 comments:

Vespersparrow said...

First rate, Marylinn. You've described the inner workings and unworkings of the human heart of which all of us has his/her share, and is usually difficult if not impossible to get a grip on, shake soundly, and put behind us. You've given us a good look at ourselves. This is a piece of writing that needs to be thumb-tacked to the telephone pole. Do you mind if I duct-tape it to my bathroom mirror?
xoxo

Jayne said...

Oh Marylinn, I'm with Vesper. Sing it from the highest mountain. How the mind can keep us slaves and turn us against ourselves. But perception can, indeed, be tweaked.
I agree, there is absolutely a connection between the state of our spirit/emotion and the health of our body.
Keep following that intuition. ;)

Laoch of Chicago said...

Very grafeully expressed.

Antares Cryptos said...

Wonderful piece. It reminds me of a quote I heard once; get out of your own way.

Penelope said...

Admiringly, P.

Nicolette Wong said...

Sweet. Melodic. And it made me smile because, as I mentioned in a comment on your blog, I'm a firm believer of the spiritual realm (because of certain personal experience, and people I know).

Angella Lister said...

it is a thing I am actively working on, retraining my mind to be kinder to myself, so this felt right on time, and so trenchant. Thank you for helping us pull back the curtain. May our feet relearn the dance and teach the mind to sing instead of always throwing up cautionary tales.

Robert the Skeptic said...

There is clearly a mind-body connection. Our state of mind effects most aspects of our interaction within the real world.

Psychics will gladly engage us, making us believe that they have a special conduit to that connection. They don't; they are only adroit practitioners of reflecting back to us what we already know... and for a fee.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Melissa - Thank you. Please, by all means, duct-taped, affixed with chewing gum...it is winding path, rising and falling. Keeping sight of what matters with compassionate hearts is something we cannot be reminded of too often. xo

Marylinn Kelly said...

Jayne - Thank you. How do we wander off so easily, when what is true is not a mystery, just difficult to keep within our grasp. We are our own great distractions. xo

Marylinn Kelly said...

Laoch - I am very, very grateful for moments of clarity and awareness that seems to have a chance of enduring.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Antares Cryptos - Thank you. If only the doing was as accessible as the knowing. However, the knowing is a fine place to begin. =^..^=

Marylinn Kelly said...

Penelope - Thank you. Always good to see you here.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Nicolette - Thank you. I feel the spiritual is as powerful a part of life as any other aspect, perhaps stronger. In my experience, spirit is present in all things.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Angella - Thank you. And does it seem to you that the tales are really more fear-inspired than cautionary? A friend uses the word "awfulizing." Now, to apply for permanent residence where wonderfulizing takes place. I will look for you there.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Robert - I look forward, optimistically, to western medicine coming to acknowledge the powerful connection between mind and body. Among the remarkable aspects of the experience I described was that it was not only completely unexpected but entirely free, generously given.

Pam Morrison said...

You've set me off pondering and singing Marylinn, and my slow toes are stirring, even. I love how you've expressed this conundrum - rich and pertinent stuff. My response has made its way into a brief blog post, and my musings muse on... thank you!

Marylinn Kelly said...

Pam - Thank you and for letting me know to check in on your blog post. It is all a day at a time, one warm, encouraging thought at a time. We can help remind each other.