Saturday, April 23, 2011

If you want to sing out, sing out

Authenticity. How do we know, let alone become, the true self that breathes freely (or so I imagine) every moment? If there were not incidents, if there was never a glimpse of how it felt to be a creature without adhesions binding it to scars of the past. The scars may not even be real, or may not be the result of factual events. Surely I am not the only one who identifies with The Manchurian Candidate, unknowingly, perhaps unintentionally programmed for destructive acts triggered by a phase of the moon, a handful of words, brain chemistry gone momentarily askew, fatigue, disappointment.

We are our own potholes, we are the cracks in the sidewalk in which we catch our toes. There is power in that simple knowledge. And better still if the awareness comes when we have not just stumbled, when it arrives as an epiphany, like waking up this morning and wondering when vast segments of humanity became distracted from living their own lives by slavish devotion to professional sports. I am in the process of giving myself aching muscles about the neck and shoulders as I try to pull the Lakers, arm over arm, out of the funk they slid into before the regular season ended. At the same time I am not confused about whether their victories or defeats have anything to do with me, getting my car smog-certified, writing a blog post or seeing who has new designs of Japanese masking tape at the best price (it may be trivial, but it is MY trivia).

It is a daily, circular-seeming joust, this discarding of falsehoods, disposing of what only hinders so that we can take up the bouquets arriving at our own stage doors, those heady blossoms which we walk past, assuming they were delivered to someone else. Every day, an authentic stitch added to the sampler. We may, eventually, be able to see the whole picture.

12 comments:

Laoch of Chicago said...

Your post made me think of Keats -

'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'

Sabine said...

Wonderful thoughts and you topped it with Cat Stevens...

Marylinn Kelly said...

Laoch - I am always happy to be reminded of poets and poetry.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Sabine - Thank you...Cat Stevens is one voice from the past that I don't imagine ever moving beyond.

Penelope said...

Hooray for the heady blossoms, whose scent comes straight to the quick, a quick reminder. Thank you Marylinn.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Penelope - And thank you, in return. We do have such possibility, and all we need is to wake up.

Antares Cryptos said...

Maybe we are our authentic selves at all times? Interesting post.

The masking tape caught my eye, have you joined our ranks yet? Experimented? Which one did you choose? Washi fan must know:)

Jayne said...

Wow, what a contrast, from The Manchurian Candidate (which I watched several time as a young girl - it was one of my father's favorite movies) to Cat Stevens. Authenticity to "masking" tape. I think we tend to play with ourselves, experiment. Which is all right - how else do we come to know ourselves? Sing out! Yes!

Marylinn Kelly said...

Antares Cryptos - I think the aspiration is authenticity at all times. It is, as all of life, a process.

Through etsy and prettytape.com (I think) I found some citrus colors with faint patterns, some reds and pinks with hearts and such and some narrow more autumn-colored geometrics. And want more. I browse because it pleases me. Window shopping. The tape is a great product. Do you know Kelly Kilmer's blog...she is a queen of tape and pens. Oh, the envy.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Jayne - Once I realized that life was not intended to be linear, try as they will to tell us otherwise, I felt more at ease. We are free to jump willy-nilly from one non-sequitur to the next, hoping that some sense can be made of it all. Unlike 7th grade sewing class, authenticity around here does not match patterns at the seams. Whew, and am I glad. xo

Antares Cryptos said...

Yes, I'm familiar with the tape queen, looking at her blog is window watching. She is a delight:)

Not familiar with your (addiction;) supplier), I'm always looking for more interesting patterns, that are not pastel.

I found tape called "antique books" that has script printed on it. Looks like it was taken from a classical composer dictionary.

Tape and Pens and Paper. JOY.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Antares Cryptos - I forgot to mention the gift of two Tim Holtz tapes, sepia tones, text/graphics. I've seen, I believe, the Japanese tape you mentioned...do you know tapeswell.com? One of Kelly's recommendations. Joy, yes it is.