On Thursday, a day of forensically-examined anxiety, a book arrived that I'd ordered on a whim or unconscious directive. Sandy Steen Bartholomew, Thursday's Hero.
Here are a few of the words she brought:
"Zentangle (my note: intricate and focusing doodles) can help you stay calm and relaxed, but it also teaches you to notice your surroundings, to really pay attention, to use your hand-eye coordination - also good for balance - and Zentangle can change your thoughts.
"Anything is possible, one stroke at a time."
Doodling (which I think has been discussed at this site before) is something my hand does without consulting my mind. By involving intentional thought, voila!, something more, something better, a new tool, sufficient rocket fuel to escape my own twitchy gravity, as good as seeing the cavalry silhouetted against a prairie sky just after hearing the bugle notes that signal rescue.
Here is an example from another of Sandy's books, Totally Tangled. I ordered it this morning.
This is my thought process: if sitting quietly, doing nothing that I can detect, brings on a state close to panic, like Pigpen raising a cloud of dust in a snowstorm, I am excited by the possibility of paying deep attention to something I already enjoy and seeing if it can free me from feeling hideously, powerlessly stuck. We have nothing to lose but our chains.