1980s pop on the morning jukebox, breakfast at the homesick restaurant. Today I wish the present moment did not find me with a self-assessment of worn and scruffy, attributes for an ideal studio assistant (see earlier post: Rosa Mira, etc.), without quite so many incoming messages yet to be decoded and rather less seized up of body than the Tin Man. Today I wish the present moment held a spot for me as somebody's baby.
Yesterday's Gumby vs. Frozen Charlotte consideration took a literal turn with the word "yoga" appearing in emails and comments. What I was seeking was poster children for that sealed-in-amber feeling of having stopped saying yes often enough to sources of tearful joy, giddy anticipation, dizzying flashbacks. My belief in the inseparable nature of mind/body/spirit may at times create a murkiness - what IS she talking about? But getting unstuck in one realm is a foot pulled out of the tar pits in another. It is truly all connected.
Reading today at Cafe Astrology about what any of this may mean or even signify, I found:
"With the Moon full and bright in the sky, symbolic "illumination"
occurs in our own lives. However, these new feelings and
revelations are emotional ones, as there is a sense of emotions
bursting forth into our consciousness. It's time to express
ourselves, and to let things out of our systems. Of course, we
might want to exercise some care while doing so, knowing that
what is coming out of us is new and not particularly rational as
"This Full Moon activates the Uranus-Pluto square, reinforcing the
"battle" between the need for companionship and the need for
independence. There can be a sense of surprise, shock, or
frustration involved with our emotional discoveries. Certainly,
there can be a strong urge, or need, to break free from old
patterns in our relationships." (FYI, Cafe Astrology will prepare, for free, a natal chart for you. It is a generous gift for those interested.)
The "new and not particularly rational" information about the need to break old patterns describes my flailing and teetering here, trying to tell what I seem to know, trying to put words to how it feels. There are emotions bursting forth and thoughts race past of how I need to draw, draw, draw, not necessarily to illustrate what is being illuminated, floated to the surface. It is more about drawing - as with writing - whatever comes and trusting that what appears is relative, essential to the process.