Saturday, September 29, 2012

Pop music under the full moon

1980s pop on the morning jukebox, breakfast at the homesick restaurant.  Today I wish the present moment did not find me with a self-assessment of worn and scruffy, attributes for an ideal studio assistant (see earlier post: Rosa Mira, etc.), without quite so many incoming messages yet to be decoded and rather less seized up of body than the Tin Man.  Today I wish the present moment held a spot for me as somebody's baby.

Yesterday's Gumby vs. Frozen Charlotte consideration took a literal turn with the word "yoga" appearing in emails and comments.  What I was seeking was poster children for that sealed-in-amber feeling of having stopped saying yes often enough to sources of tearful joy, giddy anticipation, dizzying flashbacks.  My belief in the inseparable nature of mind/body/spirit may at times create a murkiness - what IS she talking about?  But getting unstuck in one realm is a foot pulled out of the tar pits in another.  It is truly all connected. 

Reading today at Cafe Astrology about what any of this may mean or even signify, I found:
"With the Moon full and bright in the sky, symbolic "illumination" occurs in our own lives. However, these new feelings and revelations are emotional ones, as there is a sense of emotions bursting forth into our consciousness. It's time to express ourselves, and to let things out of our systems. Of course, we might want to exercise some care while doing so, knowing that what is coming out of us is new and not particularly rational as yet.

"This Full Moon activates the Uranus-Pluto square, reinforcing the "battle" between the need for companionship and the need for independence. There can be a sense of surprise, shock, or frustration involved with our emotional discoveries. Certainly, there can be a strong urge, or need, to break free from old patterns in our relationships."  (FYI, Cafe Astrology will prepare, for free, a natal chart for you.  It is a generous gift for those interested.)

The "new and not particularly rational" information about the need to break old patterns describes my flailing and teetering here, trying to tell what I seem to know, trying to put words to how it feels.  There are emotions bursting forth and thoughts race past of how I need to draw, draw, draw, not necessarily to illustrate what is being illuminated, floated to the surface.  It is more about drawing - as with writing - whatever comes and trusting that what appears is relative, essential to the process.


Claire Beynon said...

Dear Marylinn

Breaking old patterns is no easy task. Love to you - and to all of us - as we trust that whatever appears has some part to play in our opening process. . .

( ( ((O) ) )


Claire Beynon said...

I feel prompted to copy this poem here, Marylinn - a response to the ideas you have offered here --- thank you & much love, C x


Frankly, I am fed up
with things abstract.
I cannot wrestle
the invisible, and balancing

on air is no easy task:
tripping sees me float
upwards or sideways
but never down.

Give me a beam
to bump my head on
a tree to climb
stones on which to stub my toes

blood I can see and stop
with neon plasters
from a cluttered kitchen

I‘ve had enough for now
of words
and drawing images out of words

of untangling love
and need for love
discerning the difference
in bottomless pools.

Give me white-ribbed cowries
an amber ball to roll
beneath my feet
down to sand and salt water edge.

And give me thunder. I want
thunder that rams through rocks,
and rain that thuds into rivers
in large, hot drops.


Marylinn Kelly said...

Claire - This is all we can do, isn't it? And quiet the mind that likes to hint there is no nuance, no bigger picture. Silly mind. (((0))) xo

Marylinn Kelly said...

Claire - Thank you so much for copying your poem here. So much for hints and phantoms, as I think of these matters. I cannot moor even a helium balloon to something ungrounded. "I cannot wrestle the invisible...give me thunder." My dear, my dear. Thank you. xoxo