Saturday, March 16, 2013

What's that mean?

This is over quickly and you may need to turn up the volume.

So much uncharted territory.  Because each moment is a place we've never been, a place that never existed before, confusion may ensue.  I have changed from whatever I used to be to someone who looks for and usually finds meaning.  Perhaps I make it up, squint so that what may be nothing looks to me like, well, something.

Because life as I experience it is an ongoing process of evolution and change, dawning awareness and acceptance of the fact that questions outnumber answers, each day carries an aspect of starting over.  Why not?  As a recovering, world-class baggage dragger, any sense of a new beginning is freeing, each morning a jolt of unsullied possibility, clean and separate from flubs and shortcomings of yesterday.

It may be nothing more significant or rational than the study of crop circles, this quest for meaning.  Today I wondered for a least an hour if I had it wrong.  As I find my way with surer steps  into the belief that life is lived in the moment, that worry and regret deplete me and that a quiet mind may keep my joints from hurting, I exist in a big picture of small moments.  Always the overview; the satellite sees what I can't possibly.  It is in the wider shot, the David Lean pan of T. E. Lawrence's desert, where meaning, if such exists, dwells.  That vista is not always available; sometimes we are just too close.  In those moments we wonder, "What's that mean?"  While we may never know, we always have the option to believe.

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