Found via a link borrowed with extravagant ease from Susan T. Landry for the sheer wonder and beauty of the poem. From James Lineberger.
Goshen
We don't talk about it but her garden
began as a healing device
and perhaps a form of meditation as well,
for at the most basic level, she's much like her mother,
a pill junkie herself, who has always
had a love for plants, and passed that on to T., along
with all the rest of it, the anxiety, the hunger,
the embittered need to fight things out on her own,
but this little piece of earth that T. has laid claim to was already
a garden of sorts before she took hold of it
and started digging big holes two and three feet deep into which
she pours the potting soil to cushion her
tiny-root darlings who have no need for such extravagant comforts,
or the fertilizer, either, from Lowe's,
which she mixes up by the bucket, some fancy green stuff
that killed off
half the annuals the first time she applied it because she
poured it over the flowers and leaves, not
the soil, shocking them to death with the sudden
ferocity of their commingling,
an act her mama would laugh at were she not so senile now
so into her "dementia" as the doctors are prone
to describe it, that she can no longer dial 911, let alone place
a call to T., who has been forbidden to talk to her
anyway by the younger sister, K., who got herself appointed POA
and controls all of mama's funds, dribbling it out
to T. in niggardly amounts while she spends outrageous sums
(T. grumbles) on herself and her husband
and their lazy married daughters,
thoughts which trouble T. less and less, however, as she digs up
and discards the Iris bulbs
my mother sent down here from her New Jersey backyard
before she died, hoping
to leave something behind, she said, for she knew about
the Alzheimer's already, knew she wouldn't
outlive her second husband after all, and wanted, nay,
prayed for, some corner where her soul might linger in peace,
but they never bloomed, those Irises,
God knows why, coming back stubbornly every year,
only to leaf out, sans flowers,
sans any overt reason for their being save this: save
the spirt that dwelt within,
that grew up on her own mother's hardscrabble farm
where every flap and fragment of everything
was saved, used, cooked, or disemboweled, and none of it
abandoned ever, including the feathers,
but now, in the name of beauty, of art, of that mysterious will
to carry on, T. has shoveled
up the miserable transplanted bulbs and tossed them in the wheelbarrow
along with the red dirt and crabgrass, working even, get this,
by flashlight, arms in the wet hole
up to her elbows as she digs anew,
unanointed shepherd to her Zinnias and Petunias and Persian Shields,
but as close to God as the dust, the wind, the broken wings
of his cherubim.
began as a healing device
and perhaps a form of meditation as well,
for at the most basic level, she's much like her mother,
a pill junkie herself, who has always
had a love for plants, and passed that on to T., along
with all the rest of it, the anxiety, the hunger,
the embittered need to fight things out on her own,
but this little piece of earth that T. has laid claim to was already
a garden of sorts before she took hold of it
and started digging big holes two and three feet deep into which
she pours the potting soil to cushion her
tiny-root darlings who have no need for such extravagant comforts,
or the fertilizer, either, from Lowe's,
which she mixes up by the bucket, some fancy green stuff
that killed off
half the annuals the first time she applied it because she
poured it over the flowers and leaves, not
the soil, shocking them to death with the sudden
ferocity of their commingling,
an act her mama would laugh at were she not so senile now
so into her "dementia" as the doctors are prone
to describe it, that she can no longer dial 911, let alone place
a call to T., who has been forbidden to talk to her
anyway by the younger sister, K., who got herself appointed POA
and controls all of mama's funds, dribbling it out
to T. in niggardly amounts while she spends outrageous sums
(T. grumbles) on herself and her husband
and their lazy married daughters,
thoughts which trouble T. less and less, however, as she digs up
and discards the Iris bulbs
my mother sent down here from her New Jersey backyard
before she died, hoping
to leave something behind, she said, for she knew about
the Alzheimer's already, knew she wouldn't
outlive her second husband after all, and wanted, nay,
prayed for, some corner where her soul might linger in peace,
but they never bloomed, those Irises,
God knows why, coming back stubbornly every year,
only to leaf out, sans flowers,
sans any overt reason for their being save this: save
the spirt that dwelt within,
that grew up on her own mother's hardscrabble farm
where every flap and fragment of everything
was saved, used, cooked, or disemboweled, and none of it
abandoned ever, including the feathers,
but now, in the name of beauty, of art, of that mysterious will
to carry on, T. has shoveled
up the miserable transplanted bulbs and tossed them in the wheelbarrow
along with the red dirt and crabgrass, working even, get this,
by flashlight, arms in the wet hole
up to her elbows as she digs anew,
unanointed shepherd to her Zinnias and Petunias and Persian Shields,
but as close to God as the dust, the wind, the broken wings
of his cherubim.
James Lineberger
4 comments:
Look! Poetry is doing it AGAIN: telling us the story in a way that makes even the most raw and visceral slide down like chocolate covered marzipan. It takes a minute, but we emerge shaking our heads and saying things like:
"...what?!!!...what did he say?, and where AM I?!?..."
The best kind of LOST. Thank you for delivering yet ANOTHER jewel.
Lisa - Poetry ALWAYS does it. "...the broken wings..." Since we are mostly lost anyway, how excellent that we have a BEST kind of lost from which to choose. xo
so ridiculously pleased to have people discover James; he is a secret wonder. please visit his blog and leave an offering in the form of a comment --just that you were there. poets need nurturing and a bit of light shined on them every now and then... like seedlings.
(and bless you, marylinn...with your liittle green shoots poking up through the compost...)
Susan - I thought I'd left a comment the other day, probably missed the verification process, which I tend to forget. Went back. Am grateful to know and find poets on whom to shine a bit of light which you/they so deserve. xo
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