Thursday, July 3, 2014

No going back, only starting over, as many times as it takes

(There was a live version of this but I prefer the harmonies on the original.  Plus, I am so glad not to have been a rock star, now having to look at all those young photos of myself.)

Regret may be inescapable, still we don't have to let it hang around and make us twinge like a bad sunburn.  If we could have done it better, done it differently, we would have.  We can only use the skills we possess.

"If only" is a phrase that permits us to commit emotional violence upon ourselves.  As with much or all of this life, balance is a crucial element.  How to own our mistakes without having them become eternal hair shirts, siphoning joy out of every present moment, forever paying on a debt that never grows smaller.  My guess is this is only accomplished through forgiveness, no easy task, perhaps there is none harder.  Ebenezer Scrooge seemed capable of making up for lost time.  I'm not sure that is a choice always available to the rest of us.  We must simply start over where we are, let go as best we can of what can't be undone and grow very familiar with compassion toward human behavior, starting with our own.


6 comments:

michelle said...

This really resonated with me. It's so much easier to have compassion for others. Your words make me realize I would NEVER harass and harangue another person the way I harass and harangue myself. Emotional violence indeed.

Today I wlll start over. Thank you

Just Jen said...

starting over has never been a problem. letting go? that one's on my forever To Do list.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Michelle - Hello, thank you for commenting. I think the good part is we do get to start over as many times as it takes. I realized at some point that, no matter what the crime, I always saw myself as one of the usual suspects. We deserve better. xo

Marylinn Kelly said...

Jen - Well, yes, letting go. Letting go and not grabbing it back. I like to imagine all our misaddressed parcels of what needed to be let go sitting in old-fashioned Dead Letter Offices around the world where we can never possibly reclaim them. Ah, that would be peace. xo

Just Jen said...

Impossible Reclaim Department... now you're talking!! :)

Marylinn Kelly said...

Jen - Never to be seen, let alone reclaimed again. Gone. Gone for good. xo