Monday, January 23, 2017

Word of the Week - 151

Art by Rebecca Dautremer.
Rebecca Dautremer illustration, JULES VERNE, 2016.
Word of the Week:  ATTEND

Multiple decades of living have schooled me.  They have enlightened and confused and guided me, taught me to recognize the urgings from which my truth emerges.  I have learned, I continue to learn, to attend my soul's guidance. 

My mother once told me that when I tried to lie I lit up like a tilt sign.  While I knew in the moment she intended to discourage further attempts at dishonesty, I also believed her.  While the blaring of a flashing tilt sign may be more internal now than it was then, it is no less present, certainly no less emphatic.

While we find companionship and support in numbers, in reality we always ride alone.  In certain respects each of us is an army of one, directed on a unique assignment.  Adhering to my own truth while legions would have me join and follow can be isolating.  Worse, it may cause me to doubt what I have come to know as my path.  It seems part of what we are here to be is misunderstood, for it is impossible, not to mention onerous, trying to explain a state so clear when viewed within and so limp and inadequate-appearing when held to the light of day and critical eyes.  We want those who care for us to understand, to trust our self-knowing, realizing they may not.

What any of us is best equipped to do is be ourself.  To be that we must first know just what that means.  Arriving at that information is a lengthy, possibly lifelong process.  Such awareness is hard-won, its value unquestionable.  We navigate our days amid the noise of many voices.  Know the one that speaks to and for you with the greatest honesty and attend to that.   


Melissa Green said...

Ah, yes, the 'still, small voice' It is an essential one, a trustworthy one, and the one we ignore at our peril. What others think of our way of being in the world is not for them to either know, criticize or seek to change, though there is something firmly ingrained in human beings to make people think and behave as we do only. It hurts not to be accepted. Being known, in my book, is even more important than being loved, though our world doesn't often operate by those lights. You are and always have been the champion of following your own path, even if it is costly to your heart. You are doing the best thing, the bravest thing, Marylinn, and always have done. Everyone is not supposed to lead an army, be in the trenches, or wrap bandages. Those who are led to do that must do that, and not accuse you because you are doing not these things but something quieter, more inward. You, by listening to what the universe tells you to do in order to be your full self, are showing others how to be themselves, though they may not always recognize it. Be your own dear self, Marylinn, because it's what your instructions are, and it will show others that it's possible to be themselves, in their own way and time, that 'otherness' and 'difference' are not only possible, but imperative. ❤❤

Marylinn Kelly said...

Melissa - Thank you. I think it was Peter Cook and Dudley Moore in an old show called BEYOND THE FRINGE in which they had a silly skit about WWII and the character who always spoke about "planting carrots for the night fighters." That feels like my current calling, more or less. We must be ourselves, our most essential task. I'm so glad you know what I mean even when I'm not sure I've said it very well. xoxo