Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Why yes, thank you. It IS a big deal.

Solar eclipse photo thanks to these guys.

This morning I was able - with several weeks of skilled help - to lift my still-at-times-zombie-foot-drag right foot up onto the first step of a short flight of stairs outside our apartment, to place it on the step, then step up with my slightly more able left foot and stand there, soaring above walkway level by a good 6 or 7 inches.  I may be in shock. 

Do not forget the importance of what may seem like small gains, slight increases.  We become so fluent in dismissing what for us, for our circumstances, histories, stories is huge almost beyond measure.  That is my eclipse for today.  For today, other thoughts have to climb into the back seat, elbow just enough room for themselves and yes, their shirts WILL be touching, and the big mouth who thinks he can tell me who I am by pointing out shortcomings without cease will have to sit on top of the transmission bump.  Ha ha.

10 comments:

susan t. landry said...

actually, that does sound like a big deal! were you exhausted afterwards..or glowing from the progress?
(you describe it so well, i could feel my own leg muscles taking the step with you...)

Marylinn Kelly said...

Susan - Thank you. It was a big deal and yes, I was exhausted (the therapist said I would pay a price - we did other tricky maneuvers, too) and amazed at what seemed impossible such a short time ago. I will think of you there with me, many steps to go. xo

Melissa Green said...

Dearest Marylinn, my very dear, this is how all major projects in all our lives get done, one small step after another. For those of us with health, it can all be taken for granted, but for those of us who struggle, a step like the one you took today is utterly life-changing--it was as strange and wonderful as sprouting wings.

You always show me what true patience is, what rigor of the heart it takes to actually breathe through the pain and move forward. Over and over you've done it, but perhaps nowhere has the step been higher or more meaningful!

You'll probably need to sleep a lot of Wednesday. I'll send the faeries to West Elba to quieten those gosh darned parrots! xoxo

T. Clear said...

This is such good news, Marylinn! (I think of you, now, every time I walk around the block. Taking none of it for granted.)

xxT.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Melissa - Thank you. I love the way we can surprise ourselves, like passersby happening upon a scene of wonder. We exclaim and throw our hands - or the basket of eggs we were holding - into the air. My head feels cottony or perhaps oxygen-deprived, trying to take in the simple facts of a day in a life. And nothing has yet been found to muzzle the parrots. xo

Marylinn Kelly said...

T. - Thank you. Awake in the middle of the night, every muscle shrieking, I could see myself taking the next step, then the next, then turning around and coming back down the short flight. I am glad to accompany you on your walks, especially knowing how much we see. xo

Lisa H said...

Oh wow....

This is "..call the Times!.." worthy.

If I could schedule a parade I would.
One Good thing about this piece is the reminder that what SEEMS like the smallest step is actually....well?....NOT.
It's huge and I'm hugging you with tears falling from afar!....I think that I heard Gloria discussing your favorite cake a moment ago.....Love You.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Lisa - Ooooh, thank you for the hug, just in the nick of time and boy, I hope you heard right. Some fancypants restaurant cake - or homemade from scratch - would send me into a swoon and surely help with the process of bouncing back from the last not small step. I am already noodle-armed and rubber-kneed from today's exertions and the happier for it. We can always have the parade later. Love you. xo

RachelVB said...

You will be dancing in no time! I have no doubt. What an awesome accomplishment. Your body is following your brain and your heart. Keep going!!!
xo

Marylinn Kelly said...

Rachel - From your lips...thank you. Not the forward-moving week I'd hoped for, after Big Doings last week. It is all a process and yes, I will keep going. xo