Monday, July 4, 2016

Word of the Week - 122

Word of the Week:  CAMELOT

My life holds moments, or longer, of Camelot.  I assume we all have the experience of good we hoped would go on forever.  Perhaps we knew the rarity of it,  perhaps we only realized its value much later.  Life being life, nothing lasts forever.

One of the matters I've pondered as we watch the O.J. Simpson documentary is how do we acquire the wisdom or maturity or generosity to know when we have been given as much of a good thing as we can reasonably hope for.  How do we not push our luck or burn out struggling to hold on for just a bit more?

Any of us with an eating disorder of any duration knows how blurry the lines can become.  Any of us with any addiction, ever, has needed to find such boundaries in order to survive.  At the same time, we are encouraged to transcend what may be called limitations.  This is considered virtuous, strong.  Human existence is so full of high-wire work, balancing acts, challenges to our equilibrium.  How many models can we find that let us know what is enough?

The combination of Sir Richard Burton, his (my opinion) wondrous voice and the words to what becomes a lament as Camelot wanes, fit well with the experience of aging.  It is a place visited once, we have no first-hand experience there and, in spite of all we have gained over time, much of it seems to speak more fluently of loss.  That this is a sobering business few can deny yet our chief assignment seems to be to find authentic joy in its midst.  The only way I can attempt to walk such a confusing path is a moment at a time, a step at a time, often with lengthy pauses between.

By revising definitions, such as considering cherry-strawberry-blueberry season a Camelot of sorts, I iron some of the most grievous wrinkles out of a day.  I celebrate aloud any portion of July that doesn't demand air conditioning, any night that brings untroubled, restorative sleep in abundance.  I still dream of reaching some specific and personal versions of the stars, all the while giving thanks for blessings already bestowed.  To have come this far with a reasonably quiet mind and the ability to wobble without falling down are no small achievements.  They will do.  

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